AZ City Test program: Driving Laws downtown are optional!
After years of unofficial anarchy, the city council has decided to officially announce that all traffic signage and expectations are optional.
Conservative lawmaker Richard Bent explained the new policy this way:
“Tourists already have a hard enough time trying to find a parking place, or trying to get a decent waitress in this town once they do arrive. The last thing they should have to worry about is whether or not they are driving perfectly, or if some cop has a quota of tickets to fill for the month. Sometimes they are consulting their phones while circling around the block, so of course they are going to stop unexpectedly or go through stop signs.”
Bent continued, “If you call an old friend who used to live here, or has been here before, and you are driving around the city looking for restaurants or hotels, you will not notice every bike lane or ‘one way’ sign. Mistakes are going to happen. We want to create a business-friendly climate in our city and welcome people without worrying so much about signs and things like that. Plus, nobody ever paid attention to the rules anyway so the only ones who suffered were the locals and law abiding citizens. Now everyone can enjoy the freedom of driving how they want.”
When asked about safety concerns for children, the council member laughed heartily. “You would think they would be happy about this law at least…this means you can ride your hippie bikes on the sidewalk or in any direction in any lane of traffic without getting a ticket. Liberals are never happy unless the government is telling them how to live.”
Beleaguered Democrats pled for funding to buy one big “Yield Please” sign for the city limits, although the motion stalled after there was disagreement about who would put it up, since it would be heavy.
sonny d. 